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Couples Therapy in the San Francisco Bay Area

Do You and Your Partner Feel Disconnected From Each Other?

couple feeling disconncted
  • Have you and your significant other begun to feel like roommates instead of partners?

  • Are you experiencing communication breakdowns or intimacy challenges?

  • Deep down, does it feel like your partner just doesn’t see, hear, or understand you?

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Maybe you once felt incredibly close, but as time has gone on and you’ve each gotten caught up in your own endeavors, your intimacy has fallen by the wayside. Perhaps major life transitions like losing a loved one or switching careers have disrupted your once-unshakeable connection.

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On the other hand, maybe you’ve simply realized that you have different goals and values—one of you wants to have kids and the other doesn’t, or maybe one of you wants to open the relationship while the other wants to keep it monogamous. Perhaps you’re wondering how you can reconcile your differences.

You And Your Partner May Feel Alone—Even When You’re Together

Relationship struggles can permeate every aspect of your lives. You might find yourselves walking on eggshells at home and constantly dreading when the next argument will happen. Work performance may suffer as relationship stress occupies your thoughts and distracts you from your responsibilities. After a while, you may even withdraw from social activities because you’re unable to present a united front as a couple.

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The joy and support that your relationship once provided can feel like a distant memory, leaving you both lonely and frustrated, even when you're together.​

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The good news is that you don’t have to continue living in this cycle. Through my emotionally-focused approach to couples counseling, I can help you and your significant other bring light to your issues, rebuild positive communication and trust, and reignite intimacy. I provide evidence-based, LGBTQ+ affirming therapy for couples who are married, engaged, in long-term partnerships, and navigating non-traditional relationship structures.

Have A Question About Couples Therapy? Send Me A Message!

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Even The Best Relationships Go Through Challenging Seasons

Despite what social media might suggest, no relationship is easy. Even the best marriages and relationships go through seasons of disconnection. Sometimes disconnection arises because of retirement, job loss, and other major life changes. Other times, couples simply get so busy with their lives that they end up having little time for each other. They become more like roommates than partners.

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In the San Francisco Bay Area where I practice, people generally lead busy lifestyles and are so focused on their careers that they have little room for relationships. High-stress work environments glorify working long hours and encourage people to prioritize their jobs over their personal lives. It’s no wonder so many couples are struggling to connect with each other in a healthy way.

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For LGBTQ+ Couples, Relationship Challenges Can Be Even Harder

lesbian couple

The truth is many queer couples struggle to find affirming support and guidance and many of them grew up without strong LGBTQ+ relationship models. As a result, starting a relationship or family planning can feel like navigating uncharted waters.

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On top of that, LGBTQ+ folx have to contend with discrimination, political oppression, and an abundance of heteronormative expectations. All of these challenges can exacerbate their relationship issues and add to the stress that’s already there.

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As a counselor who is both affirming and part of the LGBTQ+ community myself, I specialize in helping queer couples strengthen their emotional bonds and navigate their stressors as a team.

Relationship Counseling Can Help Couples Increase Their Emotional Intimacy

Many couples try to "fix" their relationship using the same communication patterns that created their issues. They rely on the same strategies they’ve always known, which only increases their frustration and loneliness. The benefit of couples counseling is that it can help you and your partner see your relationship with fresh eyes. It’s a chance to dig deeper and identify the negative patterns keeping you stuck, enabling you to deepen your emotional intimacy and create new, positive patterns of interaction.

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In my practice, I offer a wide range of counseling services for couples. I provide premarital therapy for couples who want to strengthen their relationship before marriage, and I also specialize in assisting couples navigating polyamory and consensual non-monogamy. The therapy space I cultivate is safe, nonjudgmental, and LGBTQ+ affirming, ensuring that all the couples I see feel heard and accepted.

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a therapy session

Emotionally Focused Therapy: Tailoring My Approach to Couples Therapy

In our sessions, we'll use Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to explore the underlying emotions and attachment needs driving your interactions. Using EFT, you’ll learn to:

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  • Truly hear your partner

  • De-escalate conflicts and have productive discussions

  • Rebuild trust and emotional intimacy

  • Discover ways to nurture your bond on a daily basis

  • Support each other’s individual growth within the relationship

  • Navigate life transitions as a team

  • Maintain connection despite busy schedules

The skills you learn can be practiced both in and between sessions, enabling you to create lasting changes within your relationship. Together, we’ll regularly review your progress to ensure that you are moving toward a more secure and satisfying relationship.

 

EFT Couples Therapy is Proven to Create Healthier Relationships

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No matter what your goals are for couples therapy, positive change is absolutely possible. EFT has a proven track record of helping couples create healthier marriages and relationships.* With commitment and support, you can learn to communicate more effectively, resolve conflicts, and deepen your emotional bond.

You May Have Some Questions About Marriage and Couples Therapy…

What if couples therapy reveals that we’re not compatible?

Many couples have this concern, yet more often than not, incompatibility is actually the result of miscommunication or unmet emotional needs. Therapy provides a safe space to explore these issues and learn new ways of relating to each other, enhancing your compatibility long-term. That said, there are occasionally times when genuine incompatibilities arise, and couples feel that they should go their own ways. In that case, the role of therapy is supporting the couple in moving toward whatever outcome feels best for them. In essence, I’m not here to dictate what you should or shouldn’t do—I’m simply here to help you fulfill your own goals for your relationship.

We’ve tried everything. How will relationship counseling be any different?

It’s common to feel discouraged after trying to solve issues on your own. Couples therapy, especially with my structured, emotionally-focused approach, is very different from typical problem-solving forms of therapy. I go far beyond the surface, focusing on fostering a deeper emotional bond instead of just teaching basic communication skills. Many couples find that this helps them connect in ways they haven't before, even after years of struggle.

Will you take sides or blame one of us?

As a couple's therapist, I remain neutral and don't take sides or assign blame. The goal is to understand both perspectives and work together as a team. For example, we would view relationship distress as a result of negative interaction cycles, not the fault of an individual. We’ll focus on these cycles and how both partners contribute to and are affected by them. My role is to help you both feel heard, understood, and supported as you work toward positive change in your relationship.

Breathe New Life into Your Relationship

If you and your partner want to improve your trust, rekindle your intimacy, and create a life of shared values together, I invite you to pursue therapy with me. To learn more about my approach to couples counseling, you can book a free 15-minute phone or video consultation with me.

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*https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27273169/

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Get Started with Couples Therapy in San Francisco

 

Also offering online relationship counseling across the Bay Area and California.

211 Gough St #115, San Francisco, CA 94102

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